Today and Yesterdays

Putting together little somethings for my correspondents. Conveniently enough Thong's brother has a Bordelais correspondent, so I shall send along a package with him on its way to Florent. Free air mail, as it were. As for the Taiwanese, shall have to fire off the packages in the next few days, if they are to reach in time for National Day. Hmm...over the last few days been buffeted with the old yearning for going abroad again. Or rather, nostalgia for the exchange programmes. I do hope that all this will not end here. I want to go on another exchange again. And to a large extent I'm hoping that university would be like a three-year long immersion. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that that was a large draw and motivation for me.

Purvis passingly mentioned Lit S today. I must say I was rather surprised that my postmodernist rant went down so well with him. Heh, if anything, I'd have expected him to be the last person to want to entertain my kind of views about reality. And like I'd said, I thought I didn't do well for Lit S, because I did it with the same mindset that I used in normal lit. Perhaps there is the problem, that my style is unsuitable for normal lit. I'd been hoping that that was not the case, because inappropriate style is harder to correct than misread content. Ah well...will withhold further judgment until I get the papers back, and I can figure out exactly what happened.

Overall Purvis was nicer today, I think. Don't really know why. Maybe it's the fact that he's finished with the marking, and doesn't feel that stressed anymore. Heh, but anyway, it's nice to see him this way. It's easier to adapt to him, to tolerate him, even. Gave me time to think a bit about the nature of his character's influence on us. Particularly why every time he praises anyone there is this whooshing sensation in my gut. I always try to suppress it because I think it's just a distraction, and anyway sustained praise tends to turn saccharine very easily. I'd like to think that it's just my discomfort with verbal compliments in general (they're nice, but easy to give, like cotton candy or sth liddat), but I can't ignore the element of jealousy. It's a normal reaction, I realise, but I still don't like the sensation. Of course, jealousy isn't inherently bad, I guess. Depends on what you do with it.

Anyway...like I promised, shall touch on Grace and JC studying at my place on Sun. Heh, I really don't know what to do when in such situations. Normally I'd try to ignore the fact that a couple was attached, and treat them like normal people. Heaven knows they get enough deferential behaviour in normal life, and it must be rather uncomfortable to put up with it all the time. But on Sunday I had a work schedule to keep, so I just let them get on with whatever they wanted to do.

I realise I may sound disapproving, but really I don't bear them any ill-will. They weren't a distraction; heck, Marcus was noisier than them downstairs. And anyway, I am in no position to lecture anyone. It's just an interesting situation, you see. I wonder what it's like to be in a position like that. The pervasive notion was that they were in a world of their own, a separate plane of existence that they carried around with them, an alternative reality that they can deploy around them anywhere. Somehow they were unapproachable and safe within a sort of aura (okay, they weren't in splendid isolation, it's just that at that point in time I didn't feel inclined to upset that particular equilibrium). Maybe it's a kind of security that you derive from holding a piece of secret knowledge. Or perhaps they were retreating into the safe haven of a familiar presence, a familiar scenario, the two of them together.

I don't know what to make of it, as an outsider. Things like this are so inscrutible from the outside. And anyway, I was doing work.

On to other things...the new National Library! It's a splendid building, an architectural marvel, I think. Well...actually, judging from the floor plan, it's just a rectangular block attached to a neighbouring column containing the lifts and escalators, embellished heavily with sunscreens and dramatic suspended walkways. Some architects would call that dishonest architecture, because you hide what is essentially a functional and simple shape behind an elaborate facade. Me, I'm not that much of an architectural puritan, and anyway, such two-facedness does serve to...personify the building a bit.

But imagine this...seven floors of reference material, with the top floor of the reference library containing a dramatically high ceiling, shelves three storeys high, subdued lights and a breathtaking view of the surrounding city, all the way to Newton on one side and Outram on the other. The whole building is bold and grand, designed to impress. Every level has a tall ceiling so each floor in the library is as high as one and a half HDB storeys, around there. But the stunning architecture aside, the wealth of reference material there is downright delicious! History galore, intriguing economics stuff, and shelves upon shelves of archival Singapore Government material. Was wandering through the geog section with Yiting the other day, and all those travelogues were irresistible. Heh, with so much material and such a cool reading environment, I'll look forward to every excuse to go to the new library. I daresay I'll even look forward to every subsequent essay =)

Hmm...wanted to talk about the MOE scholarships talk too, but running out of time. I want to watch the shuttle launch on BBC =P

Anyway, a last note. Ran into Jes and Pui Man, which were nice surprises. Always refreshing...they remind me of the life that exists outside of Humans. It's good to have such friends outside of your normal life, so you can put things in perspective. And also, in the class, was rather pleased with becoming closer friends with Thong. Heh, that guy is one intriguing character, I have to say. Don't know where the original impetus for this particular friendship came from. I guess we complement each other well, the wide-eyed philantropic idealist and the fatalistic cynic, to stretch the comparison to breaking point. It's great to have someone easily accessible to chat with in between lessons. And after lessons, too. His character is just too compelling. Heh, maybe a part of me thinks that I could have been him, in some ways. Like in Conrad, what's so compelling about a new race is not their strangeness, but the lingering impression of familiarity.

Aaaanyway, yes...friends, old and new. Heh, you could say that these people are my own refuges of familiarity - and in some ways they seem to me all the more compelling, because they exist in spite of the lack of a declared commitment. Some things are just known, I guess, and words are only embellishments. Shan't belabour the point anymore, but it was a good day today for these nice little touches.

pondered by phoenican @ 26.7.05