Major Update

Phew it has been a long time. Mostly up to updating my webbie, which has ballooned all out of proportion into a massive task. I gave myself the whole day yesterday to do it. I still needed this afternoon to finish =S But anyway, now it's all done! Even managed to get rid of that pesky ad that Ian noticed...it's scandalous, hostdepartment guarantees no forced ads, and then they put this google thing on all my pages. I guess that doesn't technically count as a banner ad, but still...

Yes! Website undergone massive updating! New poems up at paleblack, and two new sections up in Lumiere (points below). Taiwan and kelong photos up. And that took quite a lot of doing to set straight. But now that it's done, I'm rather happy with it =) Still got RJGE photos and Thailand ones to put up (haven't even had time to look at Thailand photos), but those will have to wait till another time.

Hmm...looking through the old photos does bring back the old aches for the times past, but not as bad as in sec 4. Back then I was practically obsessed with Frexprog pictures. And that was in the era before digicams, so you can imagine how expensive it was to develop every single photo, and to scan them in and post them up took ages. But that was back when I was young and innocent (more so than now, anyway). Since then it's been shown that what is important aren't the photos but the people that are in it. The times may be gone, but the people are still here. It was hard to leave the Taiwanese six months ago, and it's still tough to keep in contact, but there's some solace to be gained from knowing that they're at least still in this world.

Anyway...watched Batman with YS on Thursday. A surprisingly deep action movie, I must say. There was a part when Bruce's mentor was telling him that if you believe in an ideal and devote your life to it, you become superhuman. That is certainly true, but when he said it, I was thinking of Hitler and Downfall. The movie treated fear and death as more than plot devices, which was unexpected...expecting to be merely entertained, I came away with more to think about than I had anticipated. And the movie did keep to the Batman plotline quite closely. Looking at Star Wars, you wouldn't be able to tell that the first three and last three movies were part of the same plot. It's all in the details...and while Batman Begins featured a much cooler car than any of the other Batman movies, it was in the little touches that are the seeds of future plots that make the story convincing. Like in the movie, they showed the origins of Khan, and the Scarecrow, and all the other supervillians who broke out of Arkham Asylum and were never found again...

Friday was spent studying with Grace again. Hmm...can feel myself burning out, too much work at once. Ironically maths has become a refuge, now that I'm over the hard trigo bits and into the easy vectors part. and Gut Symmetries is really becoming weird now. Perhaps it is becoming self-indulgent. There are lots of cool images, but the meaning and purpose behind them are not immediately apparent. Most of the time I find myself force-fitting these new elements into old patterns that I'd already identified, which feels inherently wrong. So, to prevent myself from overlooking something important, I'd stopped looking at that book for now.

Anyway...studying with Grace. Were doing econs MCQs from VJ's online database, and those are really tough questions. Well, some were undoable because they were not internally consistent, but others require the use of obscure methodology, the kind of thing that you encounter when doing trigo proofs. Heh well the highlights were looking at The Love Song of J Alfred Profrock, and Grace looking for songs that would fit my tastes, and all the guys (my bros, my dad and me) around Grace watching this hilarious American comedian (I can't remember the name, but Mark let us listen to him on the kelong) =P Heh, I don't know why it's like this, but she seems to be a catalyst for my family to come together. Maybe it's just a magnetic personality at work, but we talk more when she's around. It's such a big change that it catches me off guard when it happens.

Perhaps it's the perceived need to look like a close family in front of other people. In normal times, I think we're really close already. We're all very independent, but it's clear that we haev strong unquestionable links. But whenever my friends come over, my family suddenly shows all the outward signs of a closely knit community. Heh, and when Grace is here my dad becomes much more talkative suddenly. Oh well, it's not something to complain about. Its novelty is what makes it remarkable, but I can see how I can get use to this state of affairs. It's nice this way...sometimes the symbols too have an effect independent of what they're meant to symbolise. As long as we don't become reliant on them to show that we're close. As long as these symbols remain a...how to say it...a set of frills, and not a necessity.

Picked up the guitar again a few days ago, after a really long hiatus. What with studying and Thailand and movies, I've not had time to play at all. It feels good to make music again. And just discovered that Jewel's Foolish Games is a really nice song, nicer than You Were Meant for Me. Started learning it...but it's a fast piano song, and on a guitar it needs quite a bit of acrobatics. Will take some time, I expect, to master it. But where's the fun without the challenge eh? =P As Winterson says, the difficulty and the dream are not separate.

Bah...I think I shall write something more insightful some other day. Too tired after getting the webbie up to date. Hope everyone's still having fun this hols, wherever you guys are =)

pondered by phoenican @ 19.6.05