Narnia

Watched The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe today, and it was brilliant! The colours, the rousing soundtrack, the stirring plot, and the surprising religious connotations. And Aslan! The Great Cat! The gravity in that voice, the sheer accepting enduring dignity in that poise at the Stone Table, the wisdom deep and heavy in those eyes, and the compassion that stops him from telling the children what they should not yet know. A stirring film, that...though at this point I can't remember the book at all. And I definitely didn't see so many religious connotations the first time round. Time to reread it I think.

Was watching the film, and afterwards having dinner with Vaish and YS, with the awareness that it was probably the last film I'd watch before Saturday. And the last dinner out. Hmm...it adds a sharper flavour to everything, I think, the awareness of time running out. Everything more in focus because you're trying to remember everything, just so you have a refuge to retreat to if things don't turn out as nice as you'd like it. Tomorrow the kids coming over for a movie-watching marathon. For some of them it'd be the day before enlistment. Well, I hope it's a worthy send-off for them at least!

Yeah...NS. At this point in time I'm hanging between wishing it was now so I could get it over with, and wishing that it was later. There's not enough time to do something big, and yet too much time to bear doing nothing. But still it's not really fear, like I said...just apprehension. Swinging alternatively between the view that it's a dangerous challenge and that it's just a new and strenuous adventure. The attraction of the unknown underlined by real physical danger now, made all the more ominous beacuse you know what is possible (everyone's heard the stories of injuries and even deaths) but not what is probable.

Packing the auxiliary stuff for NS, was thinking whether or not all this is necessary. No idea why we would need all that black tape, really, though for handymen you apparently can't have too much of it. I guess it's just a safety buffer, to give you more options if the NS prescribed kit proves to be inadequate in some way. Prudence, I guess. Hope for the best (that the NS pple have prepared everything well), but prepare for the worst.

Anyway...uni stuff. Had PSC psychological interview today. Basically two hours of spilling out your life story to a psychologist. A bit disconcerting, because the doctor is a stranger, and yet you know you have to tell her as much as you would your family for her to do her job. Telling her more than her social position vis-a-vis me warrants. Or at least, you have to make it sound like the truth...but lying under such conditions is too tedious, I think. The very least is to try to protect people's privacy; the only person you can libel is yourself. And to make it as interesting for the both of you as possible. The biggie, though, is still pending...PSC is apparently organising the time-slots now.

And Cambridge finally got back to us! Got an AAA for St. John's, and I'm very relieved. On the way home today, after being notified by the VJ pple that the letters were out, there was a moment of distant clarity when I realised that I could conceivably bear not going to Cambridge - a reminder that originally I had not wanted to go there. But then the familiar tension of a critical decision being made came back. And now that the offer's out I feel much better. Either way the wait is over.

But then I also realise exactly how provisional it is. It not only relies on the grades, but also on the scholarship. This is, after all, a big step, but only one of three crucial steps, all of which must fall into place for this to work. We'll see how the rest turns out lar...but I'm glad for this at least. One less thing to worry about, and that means that the process is now back in my control. It'd be up to me, now, to convince the PSC to take me into their scholarships.

Kels got an offer too, which is, naturally, also a relief. It's good not to have to compete anymore with someone I hold in such high regard. Waiting on Chern's result, though seeing as she isn't in town that could take a while. If the three of us end up in SPS at Cam then that would be perfect!

Anyway! On the eve of enlistment it's not a productive use of time to worry bout this thing. Will think of tomorrow's movie thing instead. Need to tidy up the house. And now that I actually got the cement I can repair the ship, setting everything in order at home, before I leave for Tekong.

pondered by phoenican @ 4.1.06