Guitar

It keeps coming up, that question. And a part of me does feel quite privileged. But I must still be cautious. Part of me says I should enjoy this while it lasts. The more realistic part somehow is compelled to take into account the case by which is actually does last. These are human beings that we are talking about.

Anyway, has a great Guitar prac today, the last one before the big day on Thursday. Heh...we tried to have a full run of the ten minutes of fame that we are allowed, and the first time it was quite a catastrophe. I'm hoping that it's only due to the prospect of walking in and immediately starting to play to a packed auditorium. Nerves we can deal with. But if up till now we still have a technical issue with playing the songs, then it's quite urgent.

But that one catastrophe notwithstanding, I think we're approaching the actual day itself quite well. Everything's falling into place with the pracs and the expression and the costuming and the tech side of things. I wonder sometimes if this had been part of the overarching master plan from the very beginning...to what extent did we end up in this position by sheer good luck? Heh, the only thing I can say with any confidence is that things were done differently in drama.

Anyway, this time round the SYF doesn't seem to be so bad. The performance time is half that of drama. Sure, there are more people acting at one time, but at least everyone knows exactly what he or she has to do. At any rate, it has been quite a privilege to work with this team. This bunch of down-to-earth, non-arty people that form the other side of my JC existence =P Their whole approach to life it's quite refreshing, after a full week of arts courses. Well, there were issues that emerged when we were trying to work out the kinks in the administration of the Ensemble, especially regarding the J1s. But as it turned out, we were really lucky, and all the problems worked themselves out and we narrowly avoided having to take hard and unpleasant decisions.

Good things about RJGE...everyone is rather fun-loving! And everyone still takes things seriously. There is a balance that can be struck, apparently. Me, I don't know if I tried hard enough to be part of the ensemble, actually. For quite a bit of it I just saw it as a role that I needed to perform. But now, at this point in time, I'm thinking that I probably shortchanged myself. The spirit that SYF has generated is really gratifying. Ah well...I guess all that remains for me is to enjoy whatever is left, rather than to bemoan times that are gone. And anyway, all things said and done, it has been a good experience. Leadership is hard, but it turns out that it is endurable, as long as you position yourself well =P

On Thu, we'll be out of school by 10, and then rehearse a few hours before shuttling down to Singapore Conference Hall with our appointment with...not fate, but the powers-that-be. And by 6pm we should know the results. I wonder how it will go. Surely it will be something to remember. I only hope that everything goes well enough, so that no one suffers from regrets later. That would be positively sucky, if we ended up for some reason not doing our best on that stage. And after 2 SYFs, I think I've resolved not to care too much about what we actually get because SYF is notoriously inaccurate at judging effort. What we've gained already justifies the journey we took, if I'm permitted a moment of romanticism. The award, whatever it is, seems to me to be an added perk. Well...that, and the added funding that a gold with honours will bring =P

Was reading through the emails for CHS EDrama after their SYF competition. This year they got Silver again. I don't know what happened...ever since my batch, we have been getting Silver. And I remember feeling particularly responsible, as the person in the director's seat. It's like leading your people halfway through the wasteland and in sight of the Promised Land and walking into quicksand. Well, okay, not so melodramatic, but there was a feeling of real loss back then. As there is now, in their emails to each other about this result. Being the loudmouth that I always am, I interjected with my own consolations. Ah well, no matter what, CHS EDrama remains the best drama troupe I've ever worked with, and only TSD comes close to rivalling it =P But all the same, I hope Thu won't bring that eventuality to us. There will be people who will care much for that gold.

Anyway...lots of people are entering into SYFs nowadays. Our conductor was praying for us today, I think, or doing something to bless us or something like that, albeit discreetly. Heh, the Christian concentration in Guitar is really high, for some reason. On Sat we were praying for SYF success. Me, I'll pray for an enriching experience on Thu, and if we must pray for success, then I hope that CO and Chorale and Harmoc are successful too. Everyone is in the same boat, and there's plenty of prayers to go around for everyone, anyway =P

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Maybe I'll write again tomorrow when I have more time, and more cohesion. Seems like I haven't given a fitting tribute to Guitar, my first ever musical CCA, which I got into almost by mistake =P Ah, it's funny how things work out. And now, there is a confluence of so many things I don't know if I can write it all out here. There's just too much happening, and anyway, a fair amount of it is sensitive material. I have to think of you, Reader, even though I write largely freely on this blog. The nature of the ownership of this blog is always a sticky issue.

But I'll continue to write. Yes, Kueh, I do think that if I can change one person's view of life through writing, then it's worth it. To have an impact at all at this point in time is an achievement already, I think, which reduces the magnitude of that impact to a technicality =P

pondered by phoenican @ 26.4.05