Wellbeing

Been feeling a bit down lately. At first attributed it to obsessive compulsion over Civilisation, which I just learned how to play, but then I discovered I was actually sick. Apparently caught it from Marcus, whoc was down with some kind of flu. Which explains why I haven't been overly inspired to do Lit S over the weekend, despite my resolution to straighten things out after Friday. Oh well, but at any rate, managed to keep things on schedule. Started transferring my notes to the hardback version of Atonement. It's a beautiful book, physically. And marking bits in it, I was compelled to use a ruler and stencil, because I had a feeling I was defacing the creamy stiff paper. But then practicality won the battle; can you imagine how much time would have to be spent on crafting annotations with a ruler? =P

Was annotating it this afternoon, and listening to the Yann Tiersen discs that Thong burned for me at the same time. Good grief, Tiersen is a genius! Composed the soundtrack for Amélie de Montmartre, and today there were some familiar tracks in the arrangement, albeit rearranged for concert performance. There was one particularly haunting one, a sad song that he added English words to, which offered a poignant counterpoint to the harmonicas and accordions. And there was the last track of the first disc, which was positively magical. Having finished a chapter of the book, I decided to listen to the track without distractions. It's the final theme for Amélie, if I'm not mistaken. And then I happened to look out, and it had just started raining. The sun was still out, and the rain was coming down very lightly, like dust motes that were stirred up by the wind into glinting streams. There were a few seconds when I knew I could make myself believe that it was snowing.

And as the song's strains continued, I went to look out the window, and outside there was one flag fluttering, two old women (one Chinese, one Malay) bringing in the laundry, and a family hurrying along the common corridor. It was almost like a scene out of a moral education film, except that there wasn't the triteness. It felt real, and yet magical. Perhaps it was the symmetrical contrasts in the scene - the harmonious Singapore society, the unlikely snow, the French music playing in the background. It was a moment of simple peace and happiness, of a sense of deep equilibrium, as if everything was meant to be like this.

After that the feeling lasted throughout the day. Went to buy a book from Borders on Thong's tip-oiff that they were having a 30% discount. The thematically-arranged anthology Good Poems is going to be my secret weapon for Lit S =P And then when walking towards the MRT station from the Cathedral, I had a realisation that my life was really a happy one. Not a lot of people will say that, I realise, but all things considered, I do think that I have been very fortunate, to end up at this particular nexus of experience, this particular intersection of our disparate consciousnesses. How things have worked out like this, I don't know, and I wasn't predisposd to pry. Was just suffused with a kind of general goodwill to everyone.

My charmed life with all these special people in this unlikely city.

Yesterday went out studying with Joel, and you could feel there was a compact between us not to talk about universities. I was studying collapse of USSR and making notes in Atonement, but the repeat telecast of the National Day parade on the TVs was distracting me. This year's parade was quite an extravaganza. Especially with all that military hardware rolling down the Padang, and the concurrent celebrations at the other locations. Anyway...after a while we put the academic stuff aside, and over a platter of fried seafood, Joel introduced me to Bruce Springsteen. A most intriguing songwriter and performer, that. His lyrics are unabashedly raw, carefully crafted to bring out the grittiness and urgency of ground-level American life. His subject is the aspirations of normal Americans, but he avoids the high-strung stuff like romance and democracy and hope. His songs are more about survival, sex and chaos, but overall you get the impression of a feverish, desperate sort of vitality.

And there it was, the sense of wellbeing, fingers oily, one headphone on one ear blasting the cries of Springsteen and his harmonica, eyes on the lyrics, and the feelings of the songs just suffusing throughout. Powerful stuff, that. And then we went for mass at Sts Peter and Paul, and Father Kenneth (I think that's his name) was back with his energetic service again. And by complete chance I found myself sitting in front of Ben Wang. Hehheh, I wonder who's responsible for creating all these connections. I want to shake the person warmly by the hand =P

I guess partly this feeling of sufficiency comes from the uncomplicatedness of this weekend. Determined to avoid university talk, keeping to a tight and clear schedule of work, and meeting good old friends. Yes, things were simple this weekend, everything had a clear purpose, and everything was in a clear and comfortable equilibrium. Such times are rare - but when they do emerge, one must be alert enough to seize them and enjoy them. And the bonus was that there were great people to enjoy them with this time round.

pondered by phoenican @ 14.8.05