BMT

Wow it's been a really long time since I last wrote here...dunno if anyone's still keeping up with this blog. And already it's almost the end of BMT.

You know, every time you book out it's like going to another country on holiday. You go on a two-day-one-night tour of this fascinating and technologically advanced city called Singapore. You notice all the things that have changed, from the new building going up at the river's mouth to the fact that they've started using G series numbers in vehicle license plates. You look for the things that have not, and sometimes you find them there. But often you find people gone, doing other stuff. Time is unsynchronised, not like in school when everyone at least had roughly the same hours. You start to feel left out, left behind even.

Every time you go back into camp it gets harder and harder. There are fewer things that remain the same, and every time at the ferry terminal you have to let them go, and every time they cry out not to be abandoned. It's come to the stage when, strangely, I find myself not really sure whether I want to book out or not - the two worlds are so different, and transitioning between the two can be so wrenching.

But it's crucial to book out. After seven weeks you realise how isolated the island is from the outside world. Even the littlest things like running water and electric lights take on the sheen of the marvellous. And your scope of experience in Tekong is so narrow. Booking out is for you to maintain your brain, so that you can continue to think. So that you can remind yourself how to live a normal life.

The thing about BMT is that it's not hard. Some parts of it are actually quite fun, especially the field camps (except for the sanitary conditions, which do have to take some getting used to...). The natural setting is something wholly unavailable on the mainland. Some parts of it are downright scary, mainly the weapon handling aspects, and especially the grenade throw. But at least these are memorable. The main thing about BMT is that it's boring. I don't find it challenging at all. That's why, I think, the scope of experience narrows. Because there's no need for fore-planning, there's nothing to anticipate, so you only live from moment to moment. An insect-like existence, as Hardy would say, without any appreciation for the bigger picture.

I am looking forward, now, to the end of this whole military experience. It seems so barren. I think now that the novelty and surprise at its easiness have worn off, I understand better what Thong was saying about army. Don't hate it yet, but it's clearer now how limited the prospects are in here. It's hard to think about the future, it's hard to look forward. I still want to do this well, but I also want it to end as soon as possible. The challenge is not the physical strenuousness but the soul-draining monotony of it all...

pondered by phoenican @ 20.2.06 1 left a mark